I’m Hailey Magee. I envision a world where women dream big, speak boldly, and live with radiance.
I envision a world where women feel not only safe, but joyful and empowered, in their decisions, opinions, relationships, sexuality, and purpose. My purpose as a Certified Hell Yes Coach is to help women rediscover and reconnect with their intrinsic, empowered selves so they can design a life that brings them joy and live their Hell Yes.
Living my Hell Yes has been my life’s work. I still have the journal entry that sparked my journey. The entry is dated March 15, 2017, and it says, in striking black pen, “I wish I could speak my truth. If I can learn to speak my truth before I die, I will die a happy woman.”
I’d written it the day after I’d been the recipient of unwanted advances at a bar. A stranger had engaged me in aggressive conversation, peppered in flirtation, and every so often slipped his bony hand around my waist. For 30 minutes I’d tolerated his behavior with a fake smile before feeling it was appropriate to escape to the bathroom.
I knew that throughout the experience, all I needed to do was say, “Thank you, but I’m not interested. ’’ But, as often used to happen, I could’t speak up for myself. I’d waited in silence, hoping the man would mind-read my discomfort and give me space. My stomach had churned with discomfort. The next morning, I took my pen and articulated what I saw as my Great Frontier in life: speaking up, resisting the impulse to people-please, and not settling for less than I deserved.
This challenge presented in all areas of my life. My tendency to people-please at the expense of my own desires was why I worked in a job that didn't reflect my values; why I felt emotionally isolated in my imbalanced relationships with friends, lovers, and colleagues; and why I relied on external distractions and addictions to numb myself to my emotional landscape. Sometimes, it manifested as mildly as staying too long in a conversation that bored me, or offering to help a friend when I didn’t have the time. Sometimes it was as extreme as sleeping with someone I didn’t want to sleep with because I didn’t want to “hurt his feelings.”
I was constantly betraying myself, constantly designing my life around others’ desires. The result was a life that felt mediocre, underwhelming, and not quite my own.
Everything changed when I went through a challenging break-up and suddenly awoke to the reality that I’d always been the sole person responsible for my own happiness. My life was no longer enmeshed with a partner’s. When I was sad, anxious, or troubled, it was my responsibility to soothe myself. In order to heal, I had to become my own first priority and recover who I was.
I was so unaccustomed to meeting my own needs that, at first, the burden felt unbearable. But I was raw, stripped to my core, and in that rock bottom state, a survival instinct took hold of me: not survival of my physical body, but survival of my inner self. It was now or never.
It started slowly. Friends would invite me out and I would say no because “I was having a rough night.” Clients would ask me to reschedule calls and I would say I couldn’t because “Consistency in my schedule is critical right now.” Bit by bit, as if supported by a pair of training wheels, I made the decisions that felt right for me.
Once the acute phase of my heartbreak as over, I didn’t have a universally accepted “excuse” to say no: my training wheels were gone. The reason morphed from “I don’t want to because I’m grieving” to “I just don’t want to.” As I set new boundaries, I watched as my friends didn’t judge me me, and my lovers didn’t leave me, and my world didn’t crumble. As a matter of fact, I felt empowered, strong, and deeply right.
Suddenly, being the one responsible for my own happiness felt empowering. And as I got better at saying No to the things that didn’t excite me, I began to say Hell Yes to the things that did.
With a blank slate before me and a renewed sense of self-trust, I began to design my own vision for my work, relationships, and lifestyle. Since then, I’ve lived my Hell Yes by:
Following my intuition across the country to plant roots in a new city and home
Rediscovering my own creativity after years of feeling “too burned out” to write music or poetry
Exploring nourishing, communicative romantic connections that thrill and excite me
Becoming a Certified Hell Yes Coach and launching my coaching practice
Committing to a sober lifestyle and becoming part of a thriving sober community
Surrounding myself with inspiring, clever, thoughtful women who serve as role models and friends
The journey is far from over. I continue to embrace it, challenges and all, at every turn, because living my Hell Yes is my favorite way of existing in this complex world. Instead of constantly choosing how to act or what to say, there is always one choice: my Hell Yes. My Hell Yes is the compass that guides me during the most exciting and challenging of times.
I’m thrilled to have the privilege and opportunity to help other women live their own Hell Yes.
Certified by Erickson Coaching International, I have helped over 100 women throughout the United States and Canada live their Hell Yes. My writing has been published on Tiny Buddha, Elephant Journal, Having Time, and more. As the founder and owner of Talisman Music Group, a career coaching group that has provided support to over 150 emerging musicians, I have a long history of supporting clients as they transform their lives, tap into their deepest passions, and live their Hell Yes.
I’m currently accepting new clients. If you’re intrigued or inspired by the idea of living your Hell Yes, get in touch. I can’t wait to hear your story.